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Remove Negative People From Your Life

Removing Negative People

I’ve always felt that we meet people in our life for a reason. The people we meet impact us whether it be in a positive or negative way; we end up learning things about ourselves and how we live our lives. Have you ever met someone who you have become very close too but yet from the beginning had the intuition that the relationship would only last so long? It is unfortunate but at times the friendship can turn out to be negative and although we know the relationship is toxic to us, we hold on to it.

We are all human (well most of us :p) we were built to be social beings, having other human connections is an important part of our overall health. What do we do when the relationship has more cons than pros? It is so hard to just throw a relationship away, that person may know almost everything about you; you may be most comfortable with that person. This past week I have done a lot of pondering about my own friendships and relationships I have realized that I would rather have four quarters than one hundred dimes. In the past I have put in so much time and effort just to be a friend with someone, I have literally tried to buy myself a friendship and have cared so much that it had an impact on my mental health. Relationships and friendships should not make you feel used or outcasted, you should feel respected and appreciated. There are times when you have to draw a line; don’t allow people to make your life miserable. You decide how you want to be treated.

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xxoo Nicole

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A peek into my world

by Monique Tamminga – Langley Times
Langley posted Feb 28, 2017 at 11:00 AM
On the streets of Langley, Arlene Fowler was known as a mom to many, always looking out for everyone else, and bringing a smile or a laugh to people, even on the toughest days.

Arlene, a daughter and a mother, with her striking blond hair, a big smile and distinctive laugh, died of a fentanyl overdose just before Christmas.

Her daughter, Nicole Fowler, said Arlene was using heroin with two young people in the garage where she was living in Langley when she overdosed.

She was 49.

Arlene spent much of her adult life working as a sex trade worker in Langley, living on and off the streets.

Her Facebook profile once listed her occupation as ‘sex therapist.’ In November, she changed her occupation to massage therapist.

Her zest for life was contagious and she was well liked among the tight-knit family who call Langley’s streets and forests home.

‘Dropping Like Flies’

One homeless man called the Times in late January to say that people living on the streets were ‘dropping like flies’ out there. He, like Arlene’s daughter, want to help stop the carnage.

Nicole wants to share her mom’s story, to show that she was loved and in hopes of helping save even one person from the same fate.

“And to humanize my mom. She wasn’t just another statistic, she was loved. She was my mom,” said Nicole.

“My mom taught me not to judge people.”

This past summer, Nicole got to live with her mom for two months when Arlene had temporary housing.

“It was really special to spend that time with her,” the 23-year-old recalls. Many of the people living on the streets would visit Arlene.

Nicole got to know many of them and said, they are “some of the kindest people you could meet.”

She’s still in contact with many of them today. Many came to her mom’s funeral, as did a Langley RCMP officer who knew Arlene.

Outreach worker Fraser Holland got to know Arlene over the years as well.

“Arlene, more often than not, had a smile to give and would put concerns for others ahead of her own,” he said.

Disease With No Escape

Nicole was raised by Arlene’s mom, Nicole’s grandmother.

In telling a little about her mom’s life, Nicole revealed that Arlene was a twin.

Unlike her brother, who excelled academically, she had learning disabilities and was bullied.

She was bipolar, but “back in those days, it went without treatment and she used drugs as a way out,” said Nicole.

Nicole said through the years, her grandmother tried everything to get Arlene help for her addiction but always to no avail. The addiction was so strong, it was a disease she could not escape.

“My grandma spent thousands, sent her up to Ashcroft to get help.

“My mother checked herself out, got a bus ticket back to Langley.”

Arlene had two daughters. Nicole’s sister committed suicide several years ago.

That’s when Arlene spiraled and it resulted in several bad situations, including her being run over by a truck and being attacked while working.

Accept and Forgive

Through it all, her mom always tried to find the positive and encouraged her daughter to always do the same.

And while she was sometimes angry at her mom, Nicole has learned to accept and forgive.

By reading the Narcotics Anonymous book, Nicole has found comfort — and a better understanding of her mother’s struggle — in passages that explain that addiction is an “incurable disease, that is often fatal.”

“No one chooses to become an addict. It is a disease, just like cancer.”

She wants people to know that addicts are people too, with family and heart.

Nicole wants to spread the word about her mom’s death in the hope it will promote safer drug use, as well as awareness and compassion. She also wants to ask the community for their ideas on how Langley should deal with the fentanyl crisis.

Sharing Ideas

She has created a website to raise awareness for mental health and addiction at www.nicoleknowledge.com.

She is hoping people will share their opinions and ideas.

“I think there should be safe injections sites.

“I think users should always use with a friend, maybe have one sober person there to help if there is an overdose.

“Narcan kits should be everywhere.”

Nicole carries one at all times.

Holland said preventing overdoses means users have to heed the advice, ”not to use alone, don’t mix drugs, understand that your body’s tolerance for substances can change, taste your shot,” he said.

Nicole is also looking into speaking at Langley schools about safe drug use.

“We promote safe sex in high school, so why don’t we promote safe drug use?

“Some kids are using drugs, so why not keep those kids safe?”

She just wants to know that she can help save even one life in honour of her mom.

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First Psychologist Visit

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First psychologist visit

If your anything like myself going to see a psychologist can bring up mixed emotions. I have canceled my first few booked appointments because I  was to anxious to go talk to a stranger about my life and personal issues. Growing up I have been in and out of counseling, there where some good counselors and some that did not work out for me. The thing is going to telling someone about my life events and personal issues all over again seems daunting.  I know that I do need to talk about these issues; its healthy to talk to a professional that can help me with my mental health. I am just dreading the fist visit, having to relive all the trauma again, opening up to someone that is a stranger too me, letting someone inside my mind to help me. All I can hope for is that this will help me find my self again. Deep down inside I have never been the person to admit that I need some help; I am usually the one who is helping everyone else. But I do know that I can’t help others if I don’t help my self first, so today I am going to help myself. I will be doing a update on this post after my appointment letting you know how my first visit with my psychologist went.

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xxoo Nicole

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What Is Anxiety

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What Is Anxiety

Anxiety: an emotional state characterized by apprehension accompanied by physiological arousal and fearful behavior.

Passer, Michael W et al. Psychology Frontiers And Applications. 3rd ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2008. Print.

Almost everyone is going to have anxiety at some point in their lives; whether we have fear about a public presentation, or nervousness when we are going for an interview, or even worrying about our performance at our work place. Most of us that experience anxiety often wonder what causes anxiety, what are the symptoms of anxiety, and can I treat my anxiety? There are many causes to anxiety and the symptoms can vary from slight too severe but there are ways someone can help treat their anxiety and learn to live with this emotional state

What Causes Anxiety?

There are many things that can cause a person to have anxiety and one of the causes could be the person’s genetics. If someone closely related to you has had a mental disorder or has lived with anxiety it is suggested that it could be passed on through your genes. Although researchers have not confirmed that anxiety is passed on through genes, it has been confirmed that if you have a close relative with a mental illness that there is a greater risk of anxiety developing.

 

Another reason anxiety can develop is through personality factors, research has shown that people who possess certain personality traits are more likely to have anxiety. For example a person who is a perfectionist will have more stress and worry than someone who is not a perfectionist. Some of the personality traits include; shyness, low self-esteem, being timid, and being easily flustered.

 

At times anxiety can be caused by the stressors in our daily lives, if we have on going stressful events this can cause anxiety in our mind and body. The following are examples of stressors that can cause anxiety.

 

  • Death of family, friend, or pet
  • Moving
  • Changes in work
  • Finance issues
  • Trauma or emotional traumatic events
  • Pregnancy and birth
  • Changes to our daily lives
  • Abuse.

 

Anxiety can also be caused by other health issues as well as substance abuse. Chronic physical illness and drug or alcohol use can create anxiety in our body. It is important for us to make sure we get a regular check up with our doctors to rule out any health issues. Also it is important to seek out help if you or someone you know is having troubles with substance abuse. Anxiety and substance abuse can be closely related, people may use to calm their anxiety when actually the chemicals in the substance creates anxiety and causes attacks when they are coming off the substance.

 

What are the symptoms of anxiety?

 

There are many symptoms of anxiety and as I have learned they differ from person to person. I am going to touch a little bit on the symptoms I have when anxiety sneaks upon me. For myself my anxiety comes out of now where, there are many symptoms I have that are close to having a heart attack. Here are just a few of the symptoms I experience:

 

  • Faintness, light headedness, dizziness
  • Heart palpitations
  • Blurred vision
  • Arm numbness and heaviness
  • Trembling
  • Shooting pains down left arm
  • Shortness of breath
  • Feeling of going crazy
  • Electric shocks in face and ears
  • Nausea
  • Fear of dying/ doom
  • Tunnel visio
  • Difficulty thinking

 

How do we treat anxiety?

 

Anxiety is a very scary thing to deal with, I know when I first had these symptoms I thought for sure something was seriously wrong. Trust me in the beginning I spent more than enough hours in the emergency room being treated and tested. First things first; if you or someone you know, are having any of those symptoms dial your local emergency number and go to the hospital. Lots of the symptoms are closely related to other serious health issues. Once other health issues are ruled out it is important to look into treatment for anxiety. There are medications that can be prescribed to help deal with anxiety; that is something you and your doctor would have to talk about. If your looking for a more natural way to cope there are many things you can do, have a look at this link for some alternative treatment.  I know one thing I had to cut down on was coffee!

 

I hope this has answered some of your questions! Please like, share, comment, and subscribe to Nicoleknowledge email!

 

xxoo Nicole

 

 

 

 

 

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A Drug Addict Mother

Having An Addict As A Mother

Recently in this past December my mother passed from a drug overdose. The day she passed I was at home and the police came to the door, I already felt the news they where going to tell me. My mother was such a strong, vibrant, caring person she always wore a smile on her face. Although she was on the street for the majority of my life and I was raised by my grandparents she still was my mother. Continue reading “A Drug Addict Mother”

Why I created My Blog

Why I created my blog

Hello to everyone, this is my first post so far and I am super excited to tell you about the reason why I created my blog and what I will be writing about.

Continue reading “Why I created My Blog”

Creating My First Blog

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How I Created My Blog

I was a little bit worried about creating my first blog, I had no idea where to begin. Last night I spent about five to six hours just researching about how others created their own blogs and how they have gained success through blogging. There are so many blogs out there which made me very intimidated, I thought geez who will ever want to read my blog. But here I am starting my blog and this is how it began.

REASONS FOR BLOGGING

First things first, I had reasons why I wanted to start my own blog. One of the reasons why I wanted to start my blog was to expose my life experiences with others. Having an interest, reason, or product when creating a blog will allow you to have a destination for your blog. There were many reasons for someone to start blogging:

  1. Expressing yourself
    Being able to express yourself by blogging is very beneficial to your mental health and your everyday life. Writing can help by clarifying your thoughts or feelings, help with mental illnesses, and can increase creativity.
  2. A passion for writing
    If you have a passion for writing blogging is the perfect way to allow others to read your writing. Sharing with others can make a difference in others lives as well as your own.
  3. Improve writing and reading skills
    Writing in a blog is like writing for an English project, being able to structure a post that will captivate the reader takes skills. Blogging can improve your vocabulary, readability, and broaden your vocabulary.

DECIDING THE FOCUS FOR YOUR BLOG

This was the toughest thing for me to do was to find the focus for my blog. I hummed and hawed about how I can create a blog that will share my views, experiences, advice, and my random interests. There are lots of different focuses for a blog looking at a  list of blog types will help you choose the main idea for your blog. Once you have a reason and a focus point you are able to physically create your blog!

CHOOSING YOUR BLOG PLATFORM

Finally physically creating your blog so exciting! The best thing to do at this point is research, research, research. I found that making a blog was confusing, I had many questions and had to search for the answers. Step one choosing whether to use a hosted blog platform (a site that hosts your blog on their domain) or a stand alone blog platform (owning your own domain which your blog platform is hosted on). Choosing between theses two depends on how serious you are going to be with your blog and what type of blog you are creating. I did a lot of reading on Problogger before I made a choice on which blog platform to go with.

SETTING UP YOUR  BLOG TWO STEPS

Step one

Once you made a decision on a platform you can set up your blog. If you went with a stand alone blog platform such as Bluehost you are now ready to create your domain name. A domain name is “the part of a network address that identifies it as belonging to a particular domain.”-lifewire.com When you have thought of a domain name you would like to use it is now time to register and secure it. I have read that it is best to go with the same platform that is hosting your domain to secure and register your domain name.

Step two

You are so close to having a fully functioning blog! The last thing is downloading WordPress once it is installed and setup, you are ready to start blogging away. I have learned a lot about how to use wWordPressand create a blog by reading information on Problogger. There are many things to learn to customize your blog and myself being a newbie I have a lot to learn yet.

This was my experience setting up my blog and starting out in this blogging community. Make sure you do your research and feel free to subscribe or ask me any questions.

 

xo Nicole